Rape Is Never Funny

Posted by on July 23, 2012 in Featured, Thoughts | 40 comments

Yes I’m stating the obvious here, and one would think a statement like this should go without saying. But apparently I’m mistaken. I feel the need to say something, because apparently a lot of guys out there have no idea what constitutes a civilised society.

Surly Amy posted a piece at Skepchick with screenshots from a guy (he calls himself “Poppa”) who asked “Would it be immoral to rape a Skepchick?” In a related post about the same incident, Stephanie Zvan writes “Would It Be Immoral To Rape My Friends?” over at Freethought Blogs. After the initial shock subsided, and I grabbed my jaw off the floor, I asked myself “Why is stuff like this still happening?” I would have thought that humanity, at the beginning of the 21st century, would have worked past this kind of misogyny, but it appears we haven’t.

And the reasoning “Poppa” gives for wanting to rape these women? “…just because they are so annoying!”

I am not stupid, I’m sure this guy thinks he’s funny, and I’m sure he would counter this comment with “Oh come on, can’t you take a joke?” The problem here, “Poppa”, is that rape is never funny. You cannot make a context in which the sexual and physical freedoms of a women are taken away forcibly by another person is funny. It’s deplorable, and the fact that you have personally taken it upon yourself to make such a suggestion, even if it is in jest, shows that you have a lot of growing up to do.

Rape is a massive problem in the world. Some studies suggest up to one in four women are the victims of a sexual assault. Many women who have been the victim of rape do not report it, either out of fear of the rapist, out of shame, or out of a combination of other factors. Rape can destroy lives, and can lead to depression, substance abuse and suicide. In the United States alone, 90,427 rapes were reported in 2009. I’d say that counts it as a pretty serious problem, wouldn’t you?

But rape, threats of rape, jokes about rape and the like are not the root problem here. The roots of this kind of behavior comes from the deep-seeded misogynistic practices in the societies in which we live. Everything about being a woman is seen as secondary to that of men. These attitudes about women, though they appear to be hidden from the upper surfaces of society, are still there today. The attitudes come from religion (where for the most part women are not allowed to preach or in some cases even read the holy books), from business (where men hold all the positions of power in corporations), and in healthcare (where those in power wish to strip away a woman’s right to choose how her body is treated).

I have seen a lot of reports of rape and death threats within the atheist/skeptic community of late, but I’m not sure that the problem is actually getting worse. We are calling people out now when they do something that we disagree with, and maybe this problem is getting the attention it deserves, finally. But there is definitely a backlash coming from these communities, from men who don’t like to see their apparent power as a male being stripped away by women who are not afraid to call a misogynist a misogynist. Like cornered dogs, these men are coming forward with their rape and death threats, because they simply have no better response to being challenged by what they perceive to be a lesser human being. I know that the anonymity of the internet allows for trolls of all kinds, because they can get away scot-free. but the only way they can win in this battle is if we keep quiet about it. If enough voices come forward in support of women, we will see a change in the perception of women in society, and these kinds of threats will lessen, and eventually, hopefully, disappear altogether.

Now for a message to the guys out there, the ones laughing at the rape jokes, the ones who don’t care, or call any woman who challenges them a “fucking bitch”. You need to grow up. You need to open your eyes and see what damage your words and actions can do to others. You need to know you are from a dying breed, and you need to know that if I ever see someone treat a woman with anything less than decency and respect because she is a woman, I will not let it lie. The only thing awaiting people like you is ridicule, and this is because the way people like that see women is ridiculous. Maybe you’ll be man enough one day to stand up for, and beside our mothers, sisters, and daughters and help us all to build a better world.

It is not okay to joke about rape. The only joke here is people like “Poppa”.

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Rape Is Never Funny, 8.9 out of 10 based on 21 ratings

40 Comments

  1. You didn’t ONCE mention prison rape, and prison rape jokes even though that form of rape is STATISTICALLY the most prevalent.. getting over feminist (non-scientific/statistical) ideology, you should have and would have known that,. 

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    •  @JBusta this post wasn’t about prison rape, it was about women, and the way men treat them with such unflinching disrespect. If you’re saying I am overly feminist (i.e. care too much about women’s rights) then I am guilty as charged. And prison rape is not funny either.

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    •  @JBusta There are jokes about prison rape? I have heard threats towards male criminals (such as women and child rapists) about prison rape, but not jokes. As Martin said, rape is never funny. 

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      •  @JBusta One more thing about male on male rape. When normally heterosexual men rape other men in prison.. it is always done to degrade them.. and by degrade, it means to make them “like women”. In other words, it is based in misogyny. In the heterosexual rapists mind, the WORST thing a man can be is”like a woman”..
        So jBusta,  even being against prison rape is taking a  “feminist” stand.
        Oops.. That would be you. (unless you like prison rape.. uh oh. ) 

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        •  @Athena1955 “In the heterosexual rapist’s mind…”? A bold claim. I think you’ll find modern psych suggesting the lens is dominance, abuse, violence, torture, far more so than simulating sex and insinuating gender.

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        •  @blamer That’s what’s she is saying. It’s not about sex, it’s about dominating, abused and degrading the person being raped. And of course making a another man ‘like a woman’ does these in the mind of a misogynist.

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        •  @qaphsiel I think the only “of course” is that we cannot read criminal minds. I want to see feminists pushing the facts rather than “pop” psychology. Are the experts telling us with male-male the aggressor intends emasculation, or feminization? I’m unsure depriving manliness is the same as instilling girlishness. I’m resisting the equivalence of inferiority with gender.

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        •  @blamer So, first, let me admit that I made a poor choice of words there. It’s not “of course”, as it would be quite surprising if it were so cut and dried. Clearly there is a space in which various combinations of dominance, feminization and emasculation in human activity can be mapped – and it’s not just a few points in that space. I’m not saying all males who rape, regardless of whom they rape, are misogynists of the mindset that emasculation /is/ feminization and vice versa. What I am saying is that part of the mental calculus (conscious or not) of a misogynist rapist is that dominating, emasculating and feminizing are all sides of the same coin, concentrated most of the time along a particular line in the Dominance-Feminization-Emasculation space when they’re raping someone (and certainly at some other times as well).

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    •  @JBusta Is it always necessary to also talk about men whenever you talk about women?

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  2. You know, comedy is about making fun of people in power, not about making people victims. 

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  3. We’ve largely confined “nigger” jokes to the dust bin, I think we can do the same with rape jokes too – be they about rape in prison or elsewhere.
     
    Now, I’m going to take you to task for your statements on the origins of misogynistic attitudes. Religions and businesses are not the source of it. Misogynist religions did not simply spring from nothing and through their beliefs create the first misogynists. Nor, of course, are upper management of businesses or healthcare policies. They are expressions of it and of he deep-seated loss aversion of those who stand to lose some power (i.e. the males). The roots are cultural and psychological, and those are where the changes need to happen. Reforming the institutions you mention would undoubtedly bring some relief and perhaps some cultural nudges, but if you think you are going to change the culture and mindsets of people en masse by brute forcing a couple institutions into misogyny-free zones, you could not be more wrong. You’re far more likely to create a backlash.

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  4. I don’t get it. I’m not an atheist, but this transcends belief/non-belief and moves into the realm of brutish dehumanism. How can a person claim to even be civilized and act in such a repugnant manner? Hiding behind the veil of teh Interwebs’ anonymity doesn’t make the person one is spewing bile at a non-person. I just don’t get it.

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  5. It appears that the Catholic Church/Vatican/Pope think that rape is a joke!  They keep blaming it on the helpless victims, moving around their rapists and avoiding prosecution.    I guess the Pope is rolling around in his gold coins laughing his head off! 

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  6. As a man, I have to admit I don’t really “get it” when it comes to rape.  I simply can’t put myself in a woman’s shoes enough to truly grasp the horror of the thing.  Still, I’ve tried, and the insights I’ve gained thereby show me it’s horrible enough.  I cannot imagine anything remotely funny about it.  Ever.  In any situation.  I shudder at the mentality of anyone who would joke about it.

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  7. Jezebel’s “A Rape Joke That Will Actually Make You Laugh” http://jezebel.com/5881785/a-rape-joke-that-will-actually-make-you-laugh This doesn’t mean everyone can make rape jokes, but they can be funny. The joke transformed a negative experience into something good.

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    • That didn’t make me laugh.  I guess there’s something wrong with me.

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      •  @DaleJensen Well, as you probably know, humor is subjective.

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    •  @exis10s I don’t get it. What is funny about this joke?  That the woman was more afraid of being raped than she was of being mugged by a man who met some racism based stereotypical idea of a mugger?  That isn’t funny, that is sad.  
       
      The closest to a “funny” rape joke I have ever  heard of is a Wanda Sykes joke about wanting to leave her “lady parts” at home so she could go for a late night run without worrying about being raped. THAT was kinda funny .. but only because it meant that a rape would be PREVENTED by not having her vagina available for violation. The funny part was the idea that one could remove the threat of rape by removing a pretty essential part of one’s body.. which is absurd.  If the joke ended in her being raped, it would NOT BE FUNNY. 
       
      Rape is NOT FUNNY, period. 
       

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      •  @Athena1955 From another Jezebel article on the joke I mentioned. “Pretty simple: This isn’t a joke about women getting raped—it’s a joke about the way that rape culture, which includes rape jokes, makes women feel.” (Source: http://jezebel.com/5925186/how-to-make-a-rape-joke) Ever Mainard posted a link to that article so she condones the statement (if that matters).

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  8. What a load of useless hot air.  I hardly ever comment on anything I read on the internet but this just gets my goat.
     
    First: I also am an atheist/skeptic/liberal/whatever-else-we-people-like-to-classify-ourselvs-as-to-appear-more-astute.  Not that it matters, but I would hate to be written off as… “oh he/she’s just from group “X” and thus can”t be taken seriously”.  I’m on YOUR side politically/socially/economically/etc, but garbage like this gives us a bad name.  It makes you sound snooty, anal, bitchy, and generally like a chronically offended, unfunny tightass.  Yeh… I called you a name on the internet… what of it?
     
    Secondly:  Yes, rape is bad.  Nobody is arguing that rape is no-big-deal.  There is, however, a huge difference between saying the word “rape” in conversation (no matter what the context or connotation), and ACTUALLY committing the act.  When a rape occurs, people get hurt, as you said.  That is bad.  On the contrary, when the word “rape” is used, nobody except thin-skinned moral-crusaders like you get hurt;  and only because you allow it to hurt you.  (Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never harm me.)  Further, it is often the case that the words most needed to be said are those which inflict the most offense.  This is why (here in the US at least), our laws vigorously protect freedom of speech, and harshly punish acts of aggression, such as rape.  If you were allowed to forcibly remove rape jokes from daily conversation, what would be removed next?  As you can see from my post here, your blog entry has offended me.  Should I be allowed to muzzle your freedom of expression as well?
     
    For some reason people believe they have the right not to be offended.  They feel that whenever someone says something that upsets them they have the right to shut them up.  Groups of every sociopolitical leaning are guilty of this in some way and it makes me sick.  I don’t like it either when people are put down with racial slurs or certain news companies spew mindless fear mongering and lies, but guess what friends; It’s their right to do so and I loath the person who seeks to silence them.  That said, it is also our right to present contrary opinions.  This is how we promote healthy dialog in our societies and ensure everyone get’s heard.
     
    So to you I say…  Yes, rape is bad, but if that’s your ultimate point, then put your energy into fighting the real problem rather than pretending that curtailing my freedom of expression will help.  Step down off your high horse.  You’re making a fool of yourself.  In the mean time, thank you for sticking to your “openminded” values and considering my opinion as well.  I would die protecting your right to write stupid garbage blog posts like this, and i’d hope you’d do the same for the comments I leave refuting them.
     
    In conclusion… FUCK SHIT PISS NIGGER WHORE SLUT CUNT FAGGOT CRACKER ANALSEX BLONDEJOKE RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

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    •  @Herpert_Derpington Really, dude? Was that really necessary?
       
      Also, nobody’s curtailing your freedom of speech. Show me the House or Senate bill that’s going to make telling rape jokes illegal. Show it to me.

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      •  @sondosia Yes, that was entirely necessary.  We are lucky enough to live in a place where, when something upsets you, you are free to speak your mind in opposition.  That’s what the original post did, and that’s what I did in response.
         
        As to your other request, luckily no such law has reached the federal government yet, but states are beginning to attempt it.  Please read…
         
        http://www.techspot.com/news/48042-arizona-legislation-will-make-cyberbullies-internet-trolls-criminals.html
         

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      •  @sondosia  @Herpert_Derpington Thanks Sondosia for pointing out the obvious fact that criticising someone’s speech does not equal censoring that person’s speech,  

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    •  @Herpert_Derpington I see your so brave regarding your right to free speech you hide behind an alias.  In any case, not much can be said to defend making jokes about a violent act against women.  You are free to make as many vulgar rape jokes as you wish; just as we are free to point out what an asshole you are for doing so.

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      •  @askegg I don’t fear for my right to freedom of speech;  I fear that butthurt internet trolls like myself might attempt to take the law into their own hands and retaliate.  I will gladly read any rebuttal you provide to my ranting, however I will also take necessary steps to prevent 1000 pizzas and craigslist prostitutes arriving at my doorstep.  Please don’t think i’m suggesting you would stoop to such levels but it does happen.  Let’s have a conversation, not a physical altercation. 

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        •  @Herpert_Derpington Did anyone else notice that he called himself a troll?

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        •  @Herpert_Derpington Did I make any threats?  No.  Nice try though.  Do better next time.

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    • @Herpert_Derpington Wow Herpert, for an advocate of free speech, you certainly didn’t hesitate to trounce on Martin’s freedom of expression!

      As a woman who has been a victim of rape, I don’t think rape jokes are funny either. And I’m sure considering your diatribe here, you probably find jokes about morons offensive as well.

      At no time did Martin say that fucktards, who joke about rape, shouldn’t have the right to spew whatever garbage they wish to spew. He merely suggested they should consider the misogyny they’re spitting out of their stupid mouths before the drool begins.

      I, also have to right to express that I find all manners of hate speech revolting. The fact of this particular incident remains that Skepchick was THREATENED with a violent crime in an effort to “shut her up” from her “annoying” utterances of her own free expression.

      And I have the right to the freedom of my own expression. And I have the right to SHOUT when I vehemently disagree with the idiotic ramblings of the Limbaughs of this world and the like. I also have the right to encourage as many people as I can to boycott his advertisers. And, frankly, I don’t care if you like this FREEDOM OF MY EXPRESSION or not because I have the right to express my disgust and disapproval of the revolting commentaries of these assholes!

      Rape isn’t a joke and I have a right to say so! Ciao!

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      •  @AtlanticCanuck  @Herpert_Derpington did I “trounce on Martin’s freedom of expression”???  i seem to recall some statement about “I would die protecting your right to speak your mind even if I disagree”

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    •  @Herpert_Derpington Thank you for your comment. I appreciate your opinions. What I don’t appreciate is threefold.
       
      Firstly: you set out to deliberately be an asshole here on my blog, but in the spirit of freedom of expression I’ll leave it here. You can make your point without coming off as a jackass, as other people who’ve commented have done.
       
      Secondly: You are misrepresenting me here. I never said you can’t find something as “seemingly harmless” as a rape joke funny, there is no accounting for how low some people’s taste in comedy may be. I never said you can’t say “rape” in a conversation. I’m even leaving your obvious baiting by way of the words “cunt” and “nigger” here, because I have enough respect for your freedom of expression to do so. I’ll let the other commenters deal with you over these words written in bad taste. Who said anything about “forcibly remov(ing) rape jokes from daily conversation”? Who said anything about forcibly doing anything? The only force going on here in this blog piece is the bit where a someone gets raped.
       
      Thirdly: How exactly am I supposed to fight the real cause of rape in society when it is precisely this kind of unthinking misogyny which is responsible for it?
       
      I think your response is highly inappropriate considering you misread this as a call to limit the freedoms of expression we enjoy SO LIBERALLY here in the west and on the internet. Your post is testament to that. Please re-read my last paragraph, as this was the crux of the post. If this is the paragraph that got you angry, well good, get angry, I’ve obviously addressed something within you. If not, then why are  you so angry at my post?
       
      “Now for a message to the guys out there, the ones laughing at the rape jokes, the ones who don’t care, or call any woman who challenges them a “fucking bitch”. You need to grow up. You need to open your eyes and see what damage your words and actions can do to others. You need to know you are from a dying breed, and you need to know that if I ever see someone treat a woman with anything less than decency and respect because she is a woman, I will not let it lie. The only thing awaiting people like you is ridicule, and this is because the way people like that see women is ridiculous. Maybe you’ll be man enough one day to stand up for, and beside our mothers, sisters, and daughters and help us all to build a better world.”
      Oh and one more thing. Just because we have freedom of speech does not equate to shooting off our mouths inappropriately and at all times. There are

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      •  @martinspribble To be fair, it easily confuses matters to read the shorthand ‘joke’ (humour, free speech, subjectively funny) when your concern is level of insidiousness of ‘a comment that sounds threatening and half-serious’ (no laughing matter, approaching hate speech, inciting rather than insightful).

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    • @Herpert_Derpington I’m just so impressed with the sheer number of words you used to justify a morons actions.

      Can I please ask you to now justify Bush’s invasion of Iraq, Assad’s massacre of Syrians and Turkey’s slaughter and ethnic cleansing of Armenians?

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    •  @Herpert_Derpington What a monument to idiocy!  Too bad more people don’t drop by here to appreciate it.  That comment ought to be carved into a stele and planted in your front yard for all the world to gawk at.

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    •  @Herpert_Derpington > “What a load of useless hot air.” 
      – Pointless assertion.
       
      > “I hardly ever comment on anything I read on the internet but this just gets my goat.”
      – But I thought it was useless? If it’s useless, why did it get your goat?
       
      > “First: I also am an atheist/skeptic/liberal/whatever-else-we-people-like-to-classify-ourselvs-as-to-appear-more-astute.  Not that it matters, but I would hate to be written off as… “oh he/she’s just from group “X” and thus can”t be taken seriously”.”
      – No group is beyond criticism or being wrong.
       
      > “I’m on YOUR side politically/socially/economically/etc, but garbage like this gives us a bad name.”
      – Doubtful when you point out an article calling for decency and getting rid of misogyny as wrong without saying why. Secondly, who is “us”?
       
      > “It makes you sound snooty, anal, bitchy, and generally like a chronically offended, unfunny tightass.  Yeh… I called you a name on the internet… what of it?”
      – Because name-calling is the best way to convey an argument, idea and point? And calling him names doesn’t tell us he’s wrong: it tells us that the best counter you can muster is calling someone “snooty” for raising awareness about misogyny.
       
      > “Secondly:  Yes, rape is bad.  Nobody is arguing that rape is no-big-deal.
      – Actually that’s the whole point.  There are plenty who not only argue but consider it a given that it’s “not so bad”, “it’s just women being hysterical”, “it’s men being misunderstood”, its the victim-blaming, insensitivity to rape victims, etc., and rape-threats are indications that rape discussions are a problem. If this is something you need to be told about, then you should probably just not partake of this discussion. If you don’t care, don’t comment. But don’t tell others to care about something which even you admit is bad, while trying to find ways to stop it.
       
      > “There is, however, a huge difference between saying the word “rape” in conversation (no matter what the context or connotation), and ACTUALLY committing the act.  When a rape occurs, people get hurt, as you said.  That is bad.  On the contrary, when the word “rape” is used, nobody except thin-skinned moral-crusaders like you get hurt.”
      – Where exactly has Martin said that we can’t use the word rape? This just highlights to everyone that you didn’t read the article. And again: name-calling is juvenile. If it’s not possible to communicate your point without pretending you’re in a playground, then it’s probably not a point for adults.
       
      > “(Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never harm me.)”
      -What was I saying about playground?
       
      > “Further, it is often the case that the words most needed to be said are those which inflict the most offense.  This is why (here in the US at least), our laws vigorously protect freedom of speech, and harshly punish acts of aggression, such as rape.  If you were allowed to forcibly remove rape jokes from daily conversation, what would be removed next?  As you can see from my post here, your blog entry has offended me.  Should I be allowed to muzzle your freedom of expression as well?”
      – Please quote where Martin advocates for this. You are making things up.
       
      > “For some reason people believe they have the right not to be offended. They feel that whenever someone says something that upsets them they have the right to shut them up.  Groups of every sociopolitical leaning are guilty of this in some way and it makes me sick.” 
      – Good. I’m not sure who’s doing this here, but good. There is no right to not be offended. Though you clearly are, you are not calling for Martin’s silence. Neither is he calling for yours.
       
      > “I don’t like it either when people are put down with racial slurs or certain news companies spew mindless fear mongering and lies, but guess what friends; It’s their right to do so and I loath the person who seeks to silence them.  That said, it is also our right to present contrary opinions.  This is how we promote healthy dialog in our societies and ensure everyone get’s heard.”
      – Excellent.  
       
      > “So to you I say…  Yes, rape is bad, but if that’s your ultimate point, then put your energy into fighting the real problem rather than pretending that curtailing my freedom of expression will help.”
      – Who said anything about curtailing freedom of expression? Please point this out. You are equating making reasonable challenges, based on argument, with silencing. People who claim they are silenced by arguments are simply people unable to defend their points. If I argue and give you evidence there is no dragon in my garage whereas you think there is, am I curtailing your freedom of speech or are you just wrong?
       
      > “Step down off your high horse.  You’re making a fool of yourself.” 
      – Yes. Martin’s the one who sounds silly. You haven’t showed a single point where he’s wrong. You’ve made assertions against points no one will disagree with but it’s nothing Martin wrote – unless you wish to actually pull out and point to the paragraphs.
       
      > “In the mean time, thank you for sticking to your “openminded” values and considering my opinion as well. I would die protecting your right to write stupid garbage blog posts like this, and i’d hope you’d do the same for the comments I leave refuting them.”
      – No refutation happening but rather “disagreeing”… somehow. It’s not entirely clear why you are, since you didn’t make any points against Martin’s actual post as opposed to a Strawman.
       
      > “In conclusion… FUCK SHIT PISS NIGGER WHORE SLUT CUNT FAGGOT CRACKER ANALSEX BLONDEJOKE RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” – Sorry to say this, but if this is the speech Martin has to die defending, I’d be worried about Martin’s mental state at the time.
       
      If this is an non-issue for you, what’s the point of commenting? You’ve said it’s hot air, stupid, etc., so why comment? All you do is (A) confirm why people like Martin care about this issue and (B) highlight that you’re part of the problem we’re discussing, and (C) derail the conversation – unless you actually learn from this interaction which would be wonderful, but doubtful. If you don’t care, don’t comment. You only make it worse – unless that’s your goal, though I doubt that.

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  9. Rape is never funny. Rape is a crime. But rape jokes can be funny when tastefully made. I bet it’s damn hard to make a good rape joke though.
    I wrote my opinion on the whole Daniel Tosh issue in a blog post. http://bharatwrites.com/2012/07/13/pish-tosh/

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  10. No, it’s never funny, unless you have really bad taste and are willing to take backlash from at least 50% of the world population (because I dare anyone to find one single woman on earth who will laugh at a rape joke).
    Marty, adding an illustration to your post: there is a brazilian stand-up comedian called Rafinha Bastos. Besides his own act, he took part in CQC, a big brazilian TV show. Once last year he made a rape joke in one of his theatre performances, saying that ‘ugly women should be thankful for being raped, because otherwise they’d never have sex anyway”. The audience was silent, there a was an embarrassing hum and a few people simply stood up and walked out on him in the middle of the show. He also got fired and lost his place in the TV show he took part.

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    •  @plasticmadness I agree with this.  I’ve been trying to imagine any case where a rape joke might even be acceptable, let alone funny.  I suppose there could conceivably be a woman who has been raped and who, herself sometimes jokes about it as a coping mechanism.  Around others she might even laugh.  But deep down she’s not seeing anything funny about it.  And later, when she’s alone, she crawls into bed and cries herself to sleep.

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      •  @mspeir You know what I was thinking? We don’t really need to pretend that rape is a crime that only affects womanhood. Men are raped too. Little boys are raped, adult men are raped in prisons all over the world. Do we ever see them come out and speak about it? NO, because it’s SO NOT FUNNY, so embarrassing that they rather deny it… Man rape is the unspeakable. Rape does not threat the femininity of a woman, but it does threat the mighty manliness, the macho inside every man. No one ever dared to make a rape joke about men rape, or little boys rape, because it is not funny. Can you think of manly self being raped and still make a joke about it? No, you can’t. SO can’t women.

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        •  @plasticmadness I can’t quite see whether you’re seconding what I wrote or arguing with it.  Let me make it clear that I’ve been insisting all along that rape is never funny.  In my comment above I was only trying to imagine any scenario where joking about it might not be utterly despicable.  The only possibility I can think of is when the woman herself makes a joke about it as a coping mechanism, trying to deal with the horror of it.  Now, it’s hard for me to believe any woman would.  Still, I know different people handle this kind of thing in different ways.  For instance, I read of one woman who had been raped who somehow needed to talk about it with everybody.  That seems weird, because the shame of the thing drives most rape victims to be very closemouthed about it.  Nevertheless, this woman had to talk about it.  Similarly, perhaps there could be some rape victim somewhere who might find joking about it psychologically palliative.  I don’t know that such a thing has ever happened.  Maybe it never could.  My point is that in that situation–and in that one alone–I might see such a joke as less than reprehensible.

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        •  @mspeir Oh I’m with you, sorry my comment was confusing! Some people really deal better with problems when speaking about it, and that’s why support groups are so strong. I find it weird the idea of someone laughing at rape jokes to cope with it, but oh, well, there’s 6bi people int the world… I actually made that comment because it occured to me that we are talking about it as if only women were raped. Oh well, men are, too, raped. All these comments and here and everyone speaking as if rape happened only to women. But one thing is also true: only men commit rape.

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