The Threat of Monkey-Faced Jesus

Posted by on August 31, 2012 in Featured, Fun, Thoughts | 3 comments

About 2 weeks ago, news came to light of an unfortunate story involving  church in Zaragoza Spain, a century old fresco of Jesus, and the church’s attempt to restore the image to its original form. Over the years the image painted by Elias Garcia Martinez had deteriorated, mostly affected by moisture, and the face of Jesus was becoming harder and harder to see.

One well-meaning parishioner, the octogenarian Cecilia Gimenez, upon seeing the state of the painting, decided to take it upon herself to restore the painting. I mean, how hard could it be, right? The results can be seen here.

I really shouldn’t laugh, but the face represented is so far from the original that I can’t help but see it as comical. The original Ecce Homo painting on which the fresco was based, on the left, shows masterly skill in both emotion and painterly qualities. The result looks like a singing gibbon, a black eyed mandrill or a human-faced worm in robes.

Not to take away from from Giminez’s well meaning act of charity, sometimes, maybe, we should let experts do the jobs of experts. But there’s a problem, a big problem, and one that threatens the very life we live daily.

Slowly but surely, images have surfaced of Giminiez’s painting elsewhere in the world. It is alarming to say the least. After defacing Ecce Homo in Zaragoza, she quickly made her way to Convent of Santa Maria delle Grazie in Milan, Italy where she saw to it to restore The Last Supper, by Leonardo Da Vinci.

Even the Sistine Chapel isn’t safe.

Now it’s bad enough that this maniac has defaced some of Europe’s most treasured art pieces, but the problem seems to have taken a on a life of its own. Monkey-Jesus has been sighted in locations all over the world! Seemingly of its own volition, the monkey-Jesus face has appeared, destroying artworks worldwide!!

Monkey-Jesus has infiltrated our movies!

And in our cartoons!

If this weren’t bad enough, there have even been sightings of monkey-Jesus in normal-Jesus’ usual haunts too!

This is a call to arms people! It may be too late to stop Giminez opening a portal to another dimension an destroying all our artworks, but we need to stop this madness before this plague breaks free from the visual world and takes over the land of the living!

I can’t take credit for these images, but thanks to the awesome people of the internet for giving me many laughs. and follow @FrescoJesus for added LOLs.
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  1. Oh…Myyyy! That is teh funneh, Marty. Thanks much for the few giggles I’ve had today!

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  2. Marty…that was fuckin’ funny. sorta looks like the Popular Mechanics interpretation of Jesus. So good.

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  3. Great stuff! you write too well. Moreover your post contains some worthy information which i guess will help lot of people…

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  1. Troythulu’s Gnuz and Lynx Roundup for August 31st, 2012 « The Call of Troythulu - [...] The Threat of Monkey-Faced Jesus (It’s not what you may think.) [...]

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